Marriage Isn’t Hard, Part 2

Aug 6, 2014 by Jim and Jerolyn Bogear

 

On Tuesday we posed the idea that “Marriage isn’t hard… selfishness is.” And then we teased you with The Secret to a selfless marriage that works.

So here it is…

When you begin meeting your spouse’s needs, they begin to want to meet your needs.

I (Jim) remember when doing a study on loving my wife, it hit me. It was something I knew, but for some reason the realization had never clicked. When I quit trying to fight for my wife to meet my needs, focusing selfishly on myself, and began to genuinely attempt to meet her needs, it is amazing how so many of my own needs began to be met. Yes, I am like most men, a little thick in the skull, and a slow learner, but this idea really began to revolutionize the way I looked at and treated my bride. I believe my obedience in this one area changed our marriage from something that was good to something that could become great.

The change may not happen overnight. But eventually, you will see your spouse making sure you are taken care of and place your needs above their own. It’s a wonderful phenomenon of love. Then you will find your marriage bond becoming stronger and stronger with time.

This isn’t a one-time pill you take and all is well. In fact, the Enemy is never going to stop enticing us toward selfish thoughts and behaviors. But if we spiritually are putting on the Armor of God daily and focusing our thoughts into a frame of selflessness, we can make a difference in our lives in general and our marriage specifically.

What areas of selfishness do you battle?

~Jim and Jerolyn

For more information, read Loving Your Husband by Cynthia Heald and Loving Your Wife: How to Strengthen Your Marriage in an Imperfect World by Jack and Cynthia Heald.