It’s Not About Me!

May 13, 2015 by Jim and Jerolyn Bogear

 

I can tend to be a very selfish person. Yep, I just put that out there. I like things a certain way – usually my way. I like people to behave the way I think they need to behave. I like to be taken care of. And as an introvert, I really like my alone time. Just being honest here.

But lately God keeps bringing people into my life with the reminder that “It’s not about me!”

My first thought is, “But why can’t it be about me?” (Sigh) Then I put on my big girl pants, remember I’m not an infant, and get to being about my Father’s business.

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Marriage Isn’t Hard, Part 2

Aug 6, 2014 by Jim and Jerolyn Bogear

 

On Tuesday we posed the idea that “Marriage isn’t hard… selfishness is.” And then we teased you with The Secret to a selfless marriage that works.

So here it is…

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Marriage Isn’t Hard, Part 1

Aug 4, 2014 by Jim and Jerolyn Bogear

 

So often people talk about marriage being hard. We’ve recently read some Facebook posts and blogs about couples having such a hard time in their first few years of marriage. They are not even sure if they can continue. The turmoil is tearing them up and tearing them apart.

There have also been debates about is it even reasonable to believe two people can live together in marriage for a lifetime. They wonder if the concept of marriage is unrealistic?

But we propose a different perspective…

Marriage is not hard… selflessness is.

How many times a day do you stop and analyze with this question, “What is best for me?”

• Getting out of bed or not.
• What I eat.
• How I dress.
• What I will drive or not drive.
• Where I will or will not go.
• Who I will or will not meet with.
• What recreation I will do.
• What exercise I will or will not do.
• How I will relax.
• How much work I will or will not accomplish.

Then you get into the conversations and the little daily battles we wage with others.

• My idea is better.
• I don’t want to do it your way.
• I already pulled my weight; it’s your turn.
• I have different expectations of you or this situation.
• I want you to do this for me.
• Why can’t you understand me?
• My problems are much bigger than your problems.
• Why didn’t you do want I told you to do?
• You are not listening to me.
• I just want to be alone for a while.
• I want to go do something; what is taking you so long?

All of these items are centered in selfishness.

Just simply as human beings, we battle against selfishness every single day. Selfish is exactly what the Enemy wants us to be. All sin is rooted in selfishness. So that is the direction we are tempted to take each and every day — every moment of the day.

It truly is a spiritual problem on a personal level, but selfishness profoundly affects our marriage, as well.

What would happen if for an entire day you selflessly interacted with your spouse?

1. All their needs would be met.
2. They would enjoy being with you.
3. There would be no arguments.

Now when you first stop and consider this option, it doesn’t sound like much fun. In fact it strongly resembles being an indentured servant. But here is The Secret. Ready?

Check back in on Thursday for “The Secret.”

~Jim and Jerolyn

 

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