How to Navigate Personalities

Mar 19, 2015 by Jim and Jerolyn Bogear

One of the amazing parts of being in relationship with others is experiencing so many varied personalities. One of the greatest challenges of being in relationship with others is navigating so many varied personalities. Right?!

Whether dealing with a spouse, a child, a parent, a co-worker, a friend….we have so many personalities to rummage through. And some are easier than others to live with. So how do we have relationship with people who are so complex and different?

1. Respect: Everyone wants to be respected. No one ever said, “Please put me down and make me feel as low as a worm.” We all naturally desire respect. Allowing someone to be who God designed them to be – scars and challenges and all – shows them that you respect them as a human being – that they have as much a right to be on this planet as you do.
2. Humility: To show all people respect, we have to humble ourselves and face who we truly are. We are not perfect. We are not always the easiest person to be around. Therefore, we must approach others with a mindset that places all people equal with us if not above us.
3. Grace: Extend grace to those who need grace. This echoes back to #2. We need to give grace to others because there are going to be many times where we need grace extended to us.
4. Celebrate: Celebrate people as God designed them. Some are introverted and others extroverted. Some are shy and others outgoing. Some are artistic and others athletic. Some are smart and others may be a little slower. But God designed everyone of them to be the unique person they are. Let’s celebrate that.
5. Love Language: Know the other person’s love language and learn to speak it. For example, if my friend receives love best through acts of service, then I love him/her through doing something. It doesn’t matter what my love language is. It’s the same as if I speak English and the other person speaks Spanish; I need to speak in their language to have true relationship. If I love them, I will do what I need to do for them to receive love.

Too often we try to make others into the person we believe they should be. Maybe we want them more like us or maybe less like us. Either way we are messing with God’s plan and destroying an opportunity for a beautiful relationship. We should instead celebrate one another and appreciate the differences in our humanness. Because “same” would just get very boring.

Which of these 5 areas do you need to work on in your relationships?

~Jim and Jerolyn