Reflection and Relationships

Jan 6, 2015 by



Maybe it is having a granddaughter who is now 1 year old and aging as I type this. Possibly because our youngest is 20 and life continues to move at an incredible pace. Or maybe it is just reflection as we enter into another year. Whatever the cause it is all good to get me to simply stop and reflect.

In my counseling background the concept of reflection stems from dealing and attempting to figure out the past, who to blame, and what causes me to be the way I am. Yes, a bit of tongue and cheek there but with my forthrightness and not being able to change the past, I have ignored this so we can be looking and moving forward, not dwelling on something that I can’t change. And even if I figure it out, how does it help me now and heading toward a brighter exciting anticipatory future? We have all heard that the windshield is much larger than the rear-view mirror. Stop looking in the rear-view mirror and pay attention to where you are headed.

I have for years told our children this when they are literally walking. As soon as I take my eye off of where I am heading and stare at something behind or beside me, I inevitably stumble and often fall or hit something right in front of me.

But in coaching others I am learning the value of reflection. Not as I perceived above, rather what have I done and how effective have I been? What did I learn to do this better?

In dealing with business leaders, CEO’s, and high achievers, I am learning the value of what productive reflection offers, including some direct personal questions of effectiveness and evaluation. These make us and our business, better and moving forward toward higher levels of productivity in all areas of our lives. And so it is in our relationships, I am finding the need to commit time and energy into these relationships. So I need to evaluate how I have spent my time and how productive I have been in engaging in healthy relationships.

  • Who do you need to spend more time with these days?
  • Who do you probably need to stop hanging around as much?
  • Who are you having invest in you, mentor you, or come alongside and help you be a better you? Who is simply a good friend to help you grow in life?
  • Who should you be pouring more of your life into to disciple, mentor, and ultimately communicate with words, effort, energy, and physical presence a genuine friendship?
  • How can you and I reflect on our relationships to help us become better and help others to become all God designed and desires?

~Jim and Jerolyn


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