Marriage Value: Playful Humor, Part 1

Mar 31, 2014 by Jim and Jerolyn Bogear

 

This week, we will cover the seventh and final value we have established for our marriage, Playful Humor. If you haven’t read the previous six, you can check out Absolute Commitment and Unconditional Love, Part 1 and 2, Love God and One Another, Part 1 and 2, Honest Communication, Part 1 and 2,  Cherish and Respect, Part 1 and 2,  Unwavering Support, Part 1 and 2, Passionate Intimacy, Part 1 and 2.

When we were just newlyweds, we lived in a townhouse. It was a sweet two-bedroom place in Columbus, OH. We had a simple newlywed first couch, a bedroom suite that Jim’s parents had bought him, and in the guest room twin beds from my childhood. In our kitchen we had a cute white-topped table with bright yellow legs. It was humble, but it was our place to create memories for our family.

One of my first memories in that little townhouse happened one night when we had meat, mashed potatoes, and peas for dinner. You may wonder why I remember exactly what we ate. It’s because I had to clean them off the walls, the floor, and furniture…. We had the best food fight, and it began with a spoonful of potatoes flicked across the table. We laughed and screamed and had so much fun… And then we had to be adults again and clean up the kitchen.

Playful humor has always been a part of our relationship. Oh, there have been ebbs and flows. In what I call the tired years – when the kids were all little, and I was always up in the night feeding and changing someone – I may have lost a little of my sense of humor. Or when Jim planted The River Church and the responsibilities weighed on him, he became a little more serious. But for the most part, in big or in little ways, we have made sure playfulness supersedes the seriousness of life.

The other benefit of keeping playful humor in your life is you must remain humble. Many times what makes us laugh are our own mistakes and slip-ups – saying a wrong word, tripping over a rug, dropping a flipped pancake…. We make  small and major miss-steps every day. We could be all embarrassed about it and get upset when others laugh, OR we can stop taking ourselves so seriously and simply laugh. No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. (I know; these are major revelations. Good thing we are writing them down.) But the your joy remains intact when you view them as a source of humor, not humiliation. And by laughing at yourself, you make others more comfortable with their own imperfections and foibles.

So starting today, how can you turn mistakes into laughter, see the funny side of life, and enjoy being with your husband or wife? You both have enough serious stuff to deal with every day. Take some time to throw some mashed potatoes and peas. It could just save your marriage.

How can you incorporate more playful humor into your marriage?

On Thursday, we will ask some questions that may help you create more playful humor in your marriage.

~ Jim and Jerolyn