How To Survive Being A Stay-At-Home Mommy

Jun 25, 2014 by Jim and Jerolyn Bogear

 

I recently heard, probably for the hundredth time, the story of a new young mom’s stay-at-home day.

Here’s how it goes:

1. Wake up with child – Feed them & change them.
2. Accomplish nothing you planned all day.
3. Feel very lonely.
4. Collapse into bed wondering where your day went.

Unfortunately, so many stay-at-home moms with little ones feel this way. You are perpetually tired, constantly overwhelmed and always smell like spit up. This demanding and important job can begin to feel empty and meaningless after a while.

But that is not the truth!

You are raising your first little disciple, and you have the opportunity to profoundly affect this child’s life. You get one shot at being a mom to each child. So here are some ideas on how to do it and not lose your mind.

1. Make time for your time with the Lord. When our son, Shay, was a baby, he was my 6:00 a.m. wake up call. Every single day that child woke me whether the sun was coming up or not – but always at 6:00. (The first day he broke that habit I ran into his room to be sure he was still alive. That’s how dependable he was.) Since we already had an older daughter, too, finding alone time in my day to spend with the Lord was very difficult. So I started setting my alarm for 5:30. I would have a cup of coffee, my Bible, any study I was doing, and my journal and had a wonderfully quiet and peaceful ½ hour with the Lord to start my day. Yes, I missed that ½ hour of sleep, but I wouldn’t trade those precious moments with God for any sleep. I was able to focus my priorities and receive my strength from the One who created me and those children.

2. Ask for help. You can’t do everything when you have a baby. They are demanding and take so much of your time. If you are breastfeeding them, you are extra exhausted because of the physical exertion of nursing. So you may need to ask your husband or a friend to help you with some of the house chores. One of my often-spoken statements to Jim when the kids were little was, “At 5:00 p.m., I’m leaving ‘work’ too. So we need to be parents together.” That way, if Jim took some time with the kids, I could have time to get some other chores done that I needed to accomplish. Or, he would take some of the load and let me just play with the kids. However it works for you, you have to view raising kids as a job. If you have a job outside the home, you and your spouse would probably share the home chores. You can’t expect yourself to do it all. And sometimes, that vacuum is just going to have to sit there for another week.

3. Get out of the house. Being a stay-at-home mom can be one of the loneliest jobs in the world. You have no adult conversation and no one giving much back. You just have someone demanding your constant attention. So get out of the house. Now some people will say it’s too hard to lug a baby somewhere. Listen, I have a friend with quadruplets. They are almost 4 years old now, and she recently said the time it takes from socks and shoes to getting them all in their car seats is 45 minutes. Kind of brings some perspective to your situation, huh?

You need to have adult interaction.

• Find a mom’s group in your area.
• Go to the library for story time. Your baby may be too young to understand the story, but they will love the colors and other children. And you will have adults to talk to.
• Take your baby to a mommy and me swimming class.
• Get together with a friend who has small children for tea – in your home, their home, or at McDonald’s.
• Go to a mommy and baby exercise class. If you don’t have any, at least go for a long walk. Your baby needs fresh air, too.

These 3 suggestions and ideas are by no means exhaustive. There are many blogs and books with many more ideas. Just remember, this is for a season. Sometimes, it seems like a long, dark season, but it will come to an end. Then, you get to deal with kindergarten.

What are some ways you combat the struggles of being a stay-at-home mom?

~Jerolyn