Guest Blog: The Rhythms of Marriage

Sep 24, 2014 by Jim and Jerolyn Bogear

 We are so happy to have our friend, Randy Tindall, guest blog for us this week. He has such a heart for family. We think you will hear that loud and clear in this blog on marriage. ~ Jim and Jerolyn

“Marriage is work” was some sage advice given to me when I announced my engagement to Emily. Immediately everyone knew Emily was special and I was most fortunate. Having waited so long to find the lady of my heart, I was willing to work at having a successful marriage. So like any good guy, off to work I went.

Reality brought work to a screeching halt! That old proverb, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,” is also true of marriage. Yes, you do have to work at marriage, but you also have to play. Every marriage needs a rhythm of work and play. You noticed I didn’t say balance. Work/play balance means there really is not movement. Work and play both require movement; and movement requires rhythm. The work/play rhythm of marriage is much like the rhythm of dance.

In summer work and play are dramatic, passionate, embracing long days, warm weather, and interludes with friends and family. Very much like an Argentine Tango, work and play are all over the place and filled with much laughter. “Syncopation” is essential in the Tango, whereas quick synchronization of schedules is critical for summer fun! The work of planning summer activities is upstaged by the fun of the moment.

As we enter into the fall season with kids in school, daylight fleeting, and the heat of summer passing the rhythm of marriage becomes similar to a Rumba. A Rumba, popularly known as a Waltz with a wiggle, is basically a four-count box step with a “slow–quick-quick-slow–quick-quick” pattern. The slower tempo of the Rumba in marriage allows for the accomplishment of fall chores with the wiggle taking form of jumping in the leaves just raked, picking apples, fireside smores, and football tailgates.

Winter months align the marriage work/play rhythm into a balance that is smooth, gliding, progressively turning like the 3 count style of the Waltz. To create the graceful gliding appearance that distinguishes the Waltz, the weight of the marriage is directly centered over a firm foundation of commitment, communication, and Christ. The upright position of the work of marriage glides ever so beautifully into holiday celebrations that create lasting memories.

The arrival of spring brings the marriage work/play rhythm into something like the beat of Swing dancing, “step, step, rock step.” Spring, like swing dancing, is characterized by new energy, everything is blooming, life is new, and the marriage gets a wake up, makeover. The evidence of hard work is seen and this is the time for marriage play that was intentionally planned in prior months.

Like every great dance, rhythm is the key to a great marriage! Try out different rhythms throughout the year to obtain the best work and play rhythm for your marriage.

What is the rhythm of your marriage?

~ Randy Tindall

Randy Tindall is a follower of Jesus Christ currently serving as Pastor, Spiritual Formation; Hamilton Mill Campus of 12Stone Church. Randy is a retired Army officer, retired business executive, and enjoys secular retirement as a father of a 3-year-old son. Randy, his amazing wife, Emily, and their loveable son, Noah, reside in Hoschton, Georgia (northeast Atlanta). And yes, dancing is something Randy & Emily love to do.