Valuing Your Spouse

May 14, 2013 by Jim and Jerolyn Bogear

 

Recently, Jim and I went to the funeral of a friend who had died after a long, grueling battle with cancer. The funeral was the most beautiful one I had ever attended. Not only did they show and celebrate who she was, but it ended with her husband telling us about an amazing love story that they had shared. And I thought, what if I no longer had Jim?

It is so easy to wake up each day, get dressed, and start on our “to do’s” – chores, job, kids – come home, relax, go to bed and never really acknowledge the partner we have chosen to do life with. Yes, life can be very hectic. But it is never so busy that we neglect the person we love the most in the world.

I don’t even want to imagine waking up each morning and not seeing that sweet face lying next to me. Or watching him go through his morning routine. My phone would be silent all day because I would not receive those short, periodic texts that connect us with news, a question, or just a quick “I love you.” I would rattle around this big empty house of an evening having only the dog to talk to. And then I would crawl back into an empty bed, preparing myself to start it all over again tomorrow.

I don’t write this to sound morbid or to compound the loneliness of those who have lost their loved ones. I write it to remind those of us who still have our spouses – do not take each other for granted.

Ephesians tells us that we are to make the most of every opportunity and that includes doing life with our spouse. What if we don’t have tomorrow?

• Are we enjoying, celebrating, and living out the relationship that God has blessed us with?
• Are we showing our appreciation to the person we have chosen to spend the rest of our life with – our companion, lover, best friend?

If the answer is no, then what about our actions or our attitude do we need to change?

Here are a few ideas:

1. Never leave each other or come back together again without a kiss.
2. Turn off all electronics and lock the kids in a room (okay, joking about that second one. Just distract them for a while.) Then sit down and have an eye-eye conversation every day. It may be short and just be about schedules, but make contact. Holding hands or sitting side-by-side makes it even better.
3. Purposely find ways to do things together. One of my favorites is when we cook together. And I don’t even care to cook that much. But being together in the kitchen working on the same task and talking through our day is part of what binds us together as a couple.
4. Put date night on the calendar every week. It may be Chinese take-out and a Netflix movie after the kids are in bed or sitting on the back patio for a long, quiet talk. But those count.
5. Make time for intimacy. This is a crucial part of a marriage and one of the most beautiful gifts God has given us as a couple to share.

What ideas do you have?

~Jerolyn