When Relationships are Messy – Part 2

Apr 11, 2013 by Jim and Jerolyn Bogear

In our last blog I told the story of Lauren throwing up all over me. Here are some takeaways for me…

We know that in relationships there is mess and at times we are all going to “throw up” all over someone else. How do we respond when someone “throws up” all over us? Do we push them away and say I am done, look what you said or how you treated me? How dare you do that and I am done with you. I am shoving you away and the relationship is and will be broken. Or, do we wrap our arms around them, hold tight, and let them know that even though they spewed words of nastiness or actions that hurt us, we are in this together and we will get through this?

We need to remember that we too will “throw up” all over others and we hope that they extend grace to us, forgive us, and hold onto our relationship so tight we know that together we will not only “endure” but also thrive in this relationship.

Healthy relationships do not mean that all the time all is good, but all the time we are there for one another and will work through the challenges of messy times to grow stronger together, care for and love each other, by holding on tight and committing to stay in make this relationship better than ever. We both need to extend and receive forgiveness, grace, and mercy.

Please note that there are toxic relationships and we are not endorsing any kind of abuse or neglect in relationships. This is not fair game to do whatever we choose, or say, and expect people to simply forget and move on. But we are not to be so offended when someone hurts us that we choose to address and attempt to move forward in a healthy way.

How have you handled someone “throwing up” all over you and how has the relationship grown?

In what ways can you extend your arms of grace and let someone know it will be okay and together your relationship will grow stronger?

~Jim