Integrity: Being Loyal

Oct 30, 2012 by Jim and Jerolyn Bogear

 

One of our family values is Integrity. It is one of our 6 values that we chose to identify and name for our family, although we were already practicing this value. As a part of the Integrity value, loyalty is one of the key identifiers for us as to implementing and living out this value along with a strong work ethic and honesty.

Lauren, our oldest child who is now grown and married, modeled this so well in her friendships that other friends would literally use this word to describe her.

One day, when she was in high school, she was in a discussion with a friend about another friend. Some comments started to flow about the third friend from the other young woman. Lauren stopped her and said, “I don’t think this is good to talk about her that way without her here. I am sorry this has happened, but let me ask you, ‘Have you talked with her about it?’ These are valid issues, and if you have been hurt, then you should go to her and discuss it. I will even go with you to talk to her if you want.”

Talk about conflict resolution! Way to go Lauren!

The friend who was talking about the third friend, actually appreciated it and thanked Lauren. They went to other friend and shared the concerns. The issue was resolved, both were hurt that it happened and apologized. The friendships were restored and all actually turned out well for the three of them.

What was learned? Both of the friends appreciated Lauren’s commitment to the friendships and her willingness to first of all not gossip, and secondly to help them resolve the issue, without getting into a gossip mode. It caused them to both appreciate and state how much they were thankful for Lauren’s loyalty to the two of them. The one that was hurt even commented how loyal Lauren was and knew then that Lauren would not allow others to talk about her either.

True friendship. Loyalty!

• How are you and I at being loyal?
• Will juicy information or conflict allow us to side with someone without knowing both sides?
• How do we handle the conflict?
• In what ways can we demonstrate loyalty by being direct and honest with them, not allowing ourselves to be “caught” in the middle?
• What will be said of us? Are we people of integrity by showing loyalty to keep our relationships as clean as possible?

Challenge: Be a person of Integrity today by resolving conflict and being a true friend, even in challenging times of conflict. Loyalty demonstrates a person of integrity!

In what ways can you and I demonstrate healthy relationships?

~Jim