The Character of a Genuine Friend

Jun 4, 2014 by Jim and Jerolyn Bogear

 

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.   ~Henri Nouwen

What would people say about you in regards to the above quote?

Loyalty, honesty, dedication, commitment, trustworthy, and respect are all great words.

We often hear those words used in a variety of relationships, whether friendship, leadership, work-related, or neighbors.

I am not a big follower of the NBA, but I do like sports, and more than that. impressed with teams who really get the whole team concept. The San Antonio Spurs have once again made it to the NBA finals when many “experts” had written them off as old and done.

The words written above of character, loyalty, trustworthy, respect, etc. are words to describe this team including their head coach.

“Pop (Gregg Popovich, Head Coach of San Antonio Spurs) has brought the vision to our program,” Buford said. “Everyone who has come through our program understands the things that are important: character and selfless people who want to be part of a team. Want to be part of something bigger than themselves.” R.C. Buford, General Manager of the San Antonio Spurs

I love the descriptions others are saying about this basketball team, because it describes them as a team of people committed to working together to accomplish a goal, but more than that, it is to be friends along the way and do life together. This group of individuals as a team will come to an end, but their relationships will last a lifetime.

We often hear those who espouse leadership talk of these qualities more and more in a leader and rightfully so. We hear, and say ourselves, it is “people over programs or productivity,” or it is about “how you treat people, not use them.” All true, but ultimately it is about relationships in all areas of our lives, and not just sayings we choose. That is why we so often say, “It’s ALL about relationships.”

Let’s look specifically at relationships and our responsibilities to these relationships no matter what the setting.

An anonymous quote stated, “Respect is earned. Honesty is appreciated. Trust is gained. Loyalty is returned.”

These values of loyalty, respect, honesty, and trustworthiness are values we so believe in that they are a part of our family values. These help shape our vision to be people of good character.

How are you doing on friendship and living out these values of loyalty and trustworthiness?

No matter what “team” you are on, what are people saying about you? How respected and trusted are you? Do you have other’s backs, rather than back-biting them or throwing them “under the bus?”

Henry Nouwen’s quote at the top of this blog is so true. A true friend is one who is loyal, who is simply there for us and willing to sit and listen not just find solutions.

Look at the list and see how you are doing in your relationships of marriage, parenting, co-workers, friendships, employer/employees, teammates, etc.

Take some time to assess how you are doing at being loyal, committed, selfless, and respected in your relationships.

How are you doing at being the best to be a person of good character and loyal friend, spouse, parent, co-worker, teammate?

~ Jim