How to Train Your Kids to Finish Well, Part 1

Apr 21, 2014 by Jim and Jerolyn Bogear

 

I can hardly believe that our youngest, Gabby, finishes her sophomore year of college tomorrow. Unbelievable.  Now, I understand, some of you are just finishing spring break and have a little while to go yet. But all of our kids, from kindergarten through college are in the final days of this school year.

Our children are finishing up projects that they have put off since at least January. They are freaking out about cumulative finals and wondering why on earth anyone expects them to remember everything from the beginning of the year. Some have just succumbed to the long-awaited Spring fever and checked out completely.

Wherever your children fall right now in their attitude and perspective on school, we as parents need to help them finish well.

For anyone, it’s tough getting near the finish line, but not arriving quite yet. You’ve already put in a great deal of effort – sometimes blood, sweat, and tears. Sometimes you feel like your brain is going to explode if you put one more thing into it. You’re reaching burnout level, but have not yet completed all that is expected of you.

It’s hard for the parents, too. Especially with your kids that are still at home, you have put in hours of homework with them. You’re ready to graduate to the next grade level as well.

So you may ask us, why is it important to finish well? Isn’t just getting by good enough? Coasting along isn’t so bad, is it? We’re tired and deserve some rest, don’t we? My kids have worked hard all year; let us just get this finished and over with.

Unfortunately, there are lasting paradigms that we establish in our children if we do not live lives of finishing well.

• Mediocrity.
• Laziness.
• Can’t be trusted to follow through on commitments.
• Have below average leadership skills.
• Learns it’s okay to just give up rather than persevere through difficulties.
• Half finished is better than none at all.
• Being a quitter is okay.
• If I don’t feel like doing it, I don’t have to.

And these habits formed in childhood are very difficult to break as adults. They can adversely affect both our job performance/careers and our relationships.

So how do we establish the positive paradigm of finishing well?

First, we model it. How many unfinished projects do our children see lying around the house? How many times have we quit something, just to move onto something else that we also leave when we become bored or simply tired of it? In jobs, exercise, projects, commitments, relationships…. What life pattern have our children seen us live out? We need to establish in our own lives the importance of finishing well so our children have a model example to follow. When that paradigm is established in their lives and memories, that is an easier pattern to put in place in their own lives.

If your life has not been a model of finishing well, it is never too late to switch directions. You can make a change and bring your children along in the process. Confess to them the areas where you have just given up or left undone. And then let them see you persevere to finish them well. You will be amazed at the impact this will have on your children. Kids want to see their parents not only succeed, but also make a difference in their world. By watching their parents live lives of significance, they have hope that they too can succeed and make a difference, as well. Through you, they now have the model for how to get there.

• What “finish well” habits have you formed in your own life?
• How can you improve your “finish well” paradigm?

On Thursday, we will talk about ways to train your children to finish well.

~Jerolyn