Marriage and the Social Network

Feb 26, 2013 by Jim and Jerolyn Bogear

Smart Money magazine wrote an article last Spring asking “Does Facebook Wreck Marriages?”

“More than a third of divorce filings last year contained the word Facebook, according to a U.K. survey by Divorce Online, a legal services firm. And over 80% of U.S. divorce attorneys say they’ve seen a rise in the number of cases using social networking, according to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.”

Social networking and relationships. More and more we are seeing, studying, and beginning to process the connection. We do live in a new era. For many of us it is something that has come into our lives, but for the younger people and future generations it will simply be a part of their lives. What does this mean for relationships in general? How will social networking affect us in communication, conflict and how we deal with it, the idea of living in community, and so much more?

As it relates to marriage, most of us do not need a report or study to show us that social networking is affecting relationships. We see it all the time. How are we going to recognize and process how it will affect us we believe is a key question as we dive further into a technology world and the reality of a new way of living?

As it relates to marriages most all of us can testify to the article we referenced earlier. Personally, we have read status changes, frustrations with spouses, pleas for help in marriages, complaints, and other issues as it relates to marital problems. We are seemingly becoming more comfortable putting this information out in public settings like Facebook for the “whole world” to see.

We are also more susceptible to inappropriate relationships and contact on Facebook than we used to be in the “dark ages.” Social networking has changed the way we communicate with others and allow us instant contact with those from our past, meeting new people, etc. Is this all bad? We do not believe so and know that many of us have connected with others through social networking from around the world.

However, we need to learn how to affectively relate and communicate with others, as well as, edit what we share to a world ready to read. We need to be careful that we are not ruining our relationships by giving out that which used to be private or reserved for a few. We need to be careful of how we talk to one another and about one another in a public forum. It is interesting that we are seeing Facebook and other social networks cause casualties in our marriages. We recognize there is value with the social network, but we also must be cautious in the ways it can cause hurt, shame, embarrassment, and even the demise of marriages.

• What ways are you seeing social networking break down relationships?
• What proactive practices are we putting into place to help us protect and support our marriages and other relationships?
• What do you think of this article and the studies that show social networking is a direct cause of relationship break ups?

We would love to hear from you.

~Jim

http://blogs.smartmoney.com/advice/2012/05/21/does-facebook-wreck-marriages/