Marriage Isn’t Hard, Part 1

Aug 4, 2014 by

hard marriage


So often people talk about marriage being hard. We’ve recently read some Facebook posts and blogs about couples having such a hard time in their first few years of marriage. They are not even sure if they can continue. The turmoil is tearing them up and tearing them apart.

There have also been debates about is it even reasonable to believe two people can live together in marriage for a lifetime. They wonder if the concept of marriage is unrealistic?

But we propose a different perspective…

Marriage is not hard… selflessness is.

How many times a day do you stop and analyze with this question, “What is best for me?”

  • Getting out of bed or not.
  • What I eat.
  • How I dress.
  • What I will drive or not drive.
  • Where I will or will not go.
  • Who I will or will not meet with.
  • What recreation I will do.
  • What exercise I will or will not do.
  • How I will relax.
  • How much work I will or will not accomplish.

meThen you get into the conversations and the little daily battles we wage with others.

  • My idea is better.
  • I don’t want to do it your way.
  • I already pulled my weight; it’s your turn.
  • I have different expectations of you or this situation.
  • I want you to do this for me.
  • Why can’t you understand me?
  • My problems are much bigger than your problems.
  • Why didn’t you do want I told you to do?
  • You are not listening to me.
  • I just want to be alone for a while.
  • I want to go do something; what is taking you so long?

All of these items are centered in selfishness.

Just simply as human beings, we battle against selfishness every single day. Selfish is exactly what the Enemy wants us to be. All sin is rooted in selfishness. So that is the direction we are tempted to take each and every day — every moment of the day.

It truly is a spiritual problem on a personal level, but selfishness profoundly affects our marriage, as well.

What would happen if for an entire day you selflessly interacted with your spouse?

  1. All their needs would be met.
  2. They would enjoy being with you.
  3. There would be no arguments.

Now when you first stop and consider this option, it doesn’t sound like much fun. In fact it strongly resembles being an indentured servant. But here is The Secret. Ready?

Check back in on Thursday for “The Secret.”

~Jim and Jerolyn


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