There’s Only Two Things a Parent Can Do

Jan 21, 2015 by Jim and Jerolyn Bogear

 

I had lunch with a friend today whose son is on an around the world trip and has been for the last year. He’s 19 years old. She was telling about the wonderful adventures he has had and some of the pictures she has seen of him. Like him hanging onto the side of a cliff face. Or using couchsurfing.com to find a place to sleep for the night. I finally said, “Can you imagine how you would feel as a mother if he didn’t know the Lord and was out doing all that?”

You see, there are many things from which we can protect our children. We can control their TV watching, what friends they hangout with, the food they eat and the time they go to bed. But even that is not perfect. Short of locking them in a bubble, we cannot protect them from everything.

We have only two options: Do what we can in establishing a solid, loving foundation and trust God. That’s it.

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Intentional Parenting

Nov 10, 2014 by Jim and Jerolyn Bogear

 

Recently, Jerolyn and I were privileged to teach and lead a parenting conference in Texas. Here is some of what was said by those who attended…

“We must be intentional parents if we hope to leave our children a legacy of Christian values that they take with them as they grow and start their own families.”

“One of the things we liked was the emphasis on discipleship, and we think we will be much more intentional about living a legacy for our children to follow.”

“After our discussion, both (of our children) were excited about creating a poster with “our family values” and could not wait to pick out a prominent wall on which to display them!  This in itself is an exciting development and one that got (my wife) and I motivated to ensure we continue to model the values to our children.”

Did you catch that more than one person mentioned the intentionality of parenting and having a plan. We love it.

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The Family Plan

Sep 17, 2014 by Jim and Jerolyn Bogear

 

 

When was the last time you took your family on a trip, and you had no idea where you were going? Crazy right? You don’t just pack up suitcases of clothes, hop in the car, and start driving. Of course not.

You dream of where you want to go. You research what is available at that location. You create a budget and save up your money to cover the expenses. You get out a map or your GPS and plot the route you are going to take. You have a plan for what you are going to do each day. Even if you have a ‘do nothing’ day, you still plan for it. It’s all very organized and gets you to your goal – a great family vacation.

So why don’t we apply this same focused planning technique to raising a family?

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Marriage Values: Cherish and Respect, Part 2

Jan 8, 2014 by Jim and Jerolyn Bogear

 

On Tuesday, we talked about the value of Cherish and Respect. Today, let’s look at some practical ways to show those values to your spouse.

Since each couple is unique, we’ll go about this through a series of questions. If each of you take the time to think through the answers for your spouse, you will have some ideas on how to show cherish and respect to your husband/wife.

Together: Begin by sitting down together and asking each other two questions.

Men: “What are 5 things I do that show you that I cherish you?”

Women: “What are 5 things that I do that show you that I respect you?”

Both: “What should I stop doing because I am not cherishing/respecting you?” (If they struggle with 5 things, ask them what you could do to show cherish/respect.) This conversation may be more than one sitting. Be thoughtful in your answers to your spouse so they can know what speaks clearest to you.

Once you have a list of ways your spouse receives cherish and respect, then you need to ask yourself the following questions.

• When am I going to do these specific actions for my spouse? (List dates and times. Be very specific. Then put it on your calendar.)
• What do I need to stop doing that is not cherishing or honoring to my spouse?
• Who do I need to tell to hold me accountable to these action steps I want to take to cherish/respect my spouse?

Another question I would like to add in here for both of you is, “What is your spouse’s love language and how can you meet it?” If you are unfamiliar with the term “love language,” read Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts (Chicago: Northfield, 2010). When you are meeting your spouse’s love language, they will feel cherished and respected. This is one avenue of meeting their need.

Once you start taking deliberate steps to cherish and respect, then set a time in 3 months, 6 months, and 12 months to sit down and evaluate how you are each doing. Make adjustments. Rinse and repeat.

By making an effort to cherish your wife or respect your husband, you take giant strides toward a healthy, loving, and selfless marriage.

~Jim and Jerolyn

 

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Blog Repost: Creating a Dynasty in Our Home

Dec 16, 2013 by Jim and Jerolyn Bogear

“What these boys don’t understand is, I can beat you both ways, physically and meta-physicallyJ.” Uncle Si from Duck Dynasty (The History Channel).

That is just one of the great lines from Uncle Si; he seems to steal the show most of the time. I, Jerolyn, say if Uncle Si and Jase ever leave the show, I am done watching.

We are talking about the show Duck Dynasty. Ever seen it? It has become one of the top two downloaded cable shows ever. Some people say they just don’t get it. I, Jim, understand and would have agreed with those who have only watched a few minutes. I did that in the first season and thought what goofballs, but as we chose to watch an entire episode together, at the encouragement of a couple of friends, we were hooked.

Now, like any show, it is not for everyone. I, Jerolyn, like sci-fi and I, Jim, really do not care for it generally. Hey guys, a freebie here, I do watch some of it with her because she likes it…if you need more explanation, you need more than a hint to do something just because she likes itJ…it is called counseling, and quick!

But, back to Duck Dynasty, one of the things we absolutely love about the show is the end where they talk about family, the priority and importance of family, and pray around the dinner table together.

No matter what happens in the show — how frustrated they get with each other or how far out someone seems to be (see any episode with Uncle Si telling a storyJ) or how different in the ways they think — they agree that family is a priority and nothing gets in the way of family. Work it out; figure it out; put up with them; but at the end of the day, love and live in healthy ways with your family.

We strongly believe in family values…we write and speak about these regularly but first try to live them out. We attempt to model them long before we teach them. We agree with the philosophy of Duck Dynasty and the priority of family and the family values we need to live out, instill, and hand off to our children.

We have written out our family values, attempted to live them out, as well as train and instill these values in our own children. In fact we have and will continue to write about these values to hopefully help many other families do the same, and encourage us to parent with a purpose.

• What are your family values?
• In what ways do you live these out, communicate, and demonstrate that these are not simply perceived or intended values, but real values evident in your family?
• How do you show that family is a priority?
• We have chosen to identify by name our family core values, written them out with descriptions, and placed them on the wall of our home.
• If you haven’t yet, how about starting today by beginning to process what your family values are and how to implement these?

~Jim and Jerolyn

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