There’s Only Two Things a Parent Can Do

Jan 21, 2015 by Jim and Jerolyn Bogear

 

I had lunch with a friend today whose son is on an around the world trip and has been for the last year. He’s 19 years old. She was telling about the wonderful adventures he has had and some of the pictures she has seen of him. Like him hanging onto the side of a cliff face. Or using couchsurfing.com to find a place to sleep for the night. I finally said, “Can you imagine how you would feel as a mother if he didn’t know the Lord and was out doing all that?”

You see, there are many things from which we can protect our children. We can control their TV watching, what friends they hangout with, the food they eat and the time they go to bed. But even that is not perfect. Short of locking them in a bubble, we cannot protect them from everything.

We have only two options: Do what we can in establishing a solid, loving foundation and trust God. That’s it.

As we have written many times, we believe all families should have a vision for their family and a set of values that everyone lives by to achieve that vision. It’s one of the only ways to keep the family on the same page short of isolating them from society. And unless you want to move to the mountains of Montana, they have to interact with others of differing values. And believe me, there were many times when we were raising our kids that Montana sounded like heaven.

But instead, we chose to give them a true north to keep them focused on what was really important. Did they have free will to choose to follow those values? While living under our roof, they were expected to live by our values or suffer consequences. But as adults they have had the freedom to take ownership of their values for themselves or not. Parenting can only go so far and then individuality completely kicks in.

But the second part of raising our children never ends – that is trusting God. He is the one who created them and loves them more than we ever will.

We can do our best to guard their heart – but they will love whom they will love.

We can try to guide their decisions, but they will ultimately make their own choices for better or for worse.

We can attempt to protect the from evil, but the Enemy is cunning and will try to attack by many means.

Our greatest job as parents is done on our knees – lifting our precious children, who have been entrusted to us as their guardians, to the Almighty Creator. And there are no better hands in which to lay our children.

When my (Jerolyn) mother was dying and had slipped into a coma, I was angry with God. You see, she wasn’t walking with the Lord, and I had been diligently saying to her everything the Lord guided me to say knowing this was my last opportunity. But then, that time was gone. I couldn’t talk to her anymore. I asked God, “Now what?!”

And the Holy Spirit very clearly said to me, “You can’t talk to her, but I still can.”

We can only go so far in our relationships – parenting included – but we must always trust the Holy Spirit. He will never stop watching and guiding our children.

How are you doing with trusting God with your children? Are you on your knees?

~ Jim and Jerolyn