Why Do We Need to Date Our Spouse?

Aug 18, 2014 by Jim and Jerolyn Bogear

 

Romance is a tricky tight rope. It means different things to different people and can be a challenge to navigate in a relationship. But to avoid meeting the challenge spells disaster for a marriage.

God created the magnetic attraction we feel for our spouse. It’s a beautiful coupling of heart, soul, mind, and body. Without it, we are missing a major component of a healthy relationship.

So why do people not make dating their spouse a priority?

• Too busy
• Have kids
• No money
• Different interests

I’m know, you thought I was going some place else, right? Well, sex is a component of romance, but it all begins with a date.

So let’s define a date.

Date verb: to do an activity with someone you have might have a romantic relationship with : to go on a date or several dates with (someone) ~ Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary

So a date is an activity with the person you are romantic with. Too many times after marriage, we set the bar for dates way too high or way too low. We look back at our dating years and always want the best of the best when we date. But that is a very unrealistic view. Because of our seasons of life, we need to adjust our expectations. That doesn’t mean we can’t ever have those “special” dates of our youth. We just need to think of dating outside the box, especially during child-raising years or business-raising years and financially lean years.

But here are some reasons you should be dating your spouse at least once a week: 

Makes them feel special – The romance is kept alive. Now romance transforms over the years, and you and your spouse must figure out what that means to you specifically. But at whatever stage you are in, each of you need to know that you are your husband or wife’s one and only. Taking the time to spend alone together shows them that they are top priority in your life second only to God. And spending one-on-one time with them communicates that you truly enjoy being with them. They know they are fun and interesting. That someone values them as a human being and wants to hang out.

Quality Time – You spend hours at work and doing other things you may or may not love. Your spouse deserves times of your full attention where the computer, cell phone, iPad, TV, children, house, jobs… everything goes away to focus just on the one you love and chose to do life with.

Connection – Making connections is invaluable in your business. In today’s market you must network constantly to keep your name alive in the marketplace. How much more do you need to connect with you spouse? Next to your walk with God, this is the number one relationship you need to build. Yes, I said build. Just because you walk down an aisle and say I do doesn’t mean you’ve completed building this relationship. It’s a life-long process. Communicating, listening, and understanding one another is the base foundation of a covenantal marriage.

Dating will strengthen who you are together and keep you up to “date” on how each of you are growing and changing as individuals. Take the time – it’s worth it.

When is your next date?

~Jim and Jerolyn

Watch for a future post on practical ideas for dates with your spouse.