What Every Child Needs, Part 4

Jul 30, 2014 by Jim and Jerolyn Bogear

 

This is the last section on What Every Child Needs. You can read posts one, two, and three to catch up. We pray that these points are helpful in raising your children to be all that God designed them to become.

 

Finally let’s talk about accepting our children even when we do not approve of their decisions.

What if we have done everything right, and we feel they turned out wrong. They continue to make poor choices and decisions, and we can only shake our heads and wonder what we did wrong. They maybe make different choices than us, but how many times I am sure our parents wondered about some of the decisions Jerolyn and I have made.

We have said we raise them to release them. We still strongly believe that, but with the releasing comes the fact that we take on a new role (see our recent posts about different parenting roles through the stages of our children’s lives, part 1 and part 2). We must love them no matter what.

I recently talked with a dad of an adult daughter. She has made several poor choices in her life, and it has caused a separation in their relationship. I had talked about accepting our children even when we do not approve of their decisions. This was exactly what he was struggling with personally. He knew he needed to do so and honestly desire to do so,but he had allowed her poor choices to cause him to temper his love for her. She has over the last few years only contacted him when she is in financial need, and he had allowed this to limit his love for her. He is trying to love her unconditionally.

Loving unconditionally  is often hard for us humans. We put limits on our love without often even thinking about it. How are you (how am I) at loving and accepting our kids when we don’t approve of their decisions? This may be the toughest one for all of us because of all the years of investing, raising, loving, correcting, appreciating, affirming, applauding, and applying loving principles in their lives.

Our kids are not us, and they will act and decide differently than us. That is very wholesome, exciting, and to use an overused term, awesome…we need them to be their own individual. God designed and desires for them to be that way. Love them and have fun along the way.

Parenting is the hardest job in the world, but some of the most incredible moments of joy and celebration as well. Enjoy the journey of parenting…it really is a kick!!!

~Jim and Jerolyn