What Every Child Needs, Part 2

Jul 23, 2014 by Jim and Jerolyn Bogear

 

 

On Tuesday, we began this series on what every child needs from their parents. We continue today with part two. We pray these are practical steps you can take in your parenting strategy as you purposefully raise healthy, productive and loving adults.

 

We have often said that we want to affirm our children for who they are, and applaud our kids for what they do.

Jerolyn and I believe we have really lived this out and is at least one thing we believe we did right. I often joke that our kids turned out well in spite of us. But honestly we believe we have appreciated, affirmed, and applauded our children along their journey.

Too often parents have confused these two and only affirm their kids for doing something well. That is not who they are as an individual; it is simply something they accomplished. Applaud, applaud, applaud, but make sure this is clearly distinguished with affirming them simply for who they are as a person…big difference, big impact.

What do you need to start doing to affirm your child for who they are?

What applause do they need to hear for those wonderful accomplishments?

Another note on applause, be careful not to put the “but button” in the applause. Too many times I have said great job, “but” next time maybe improve on this, or you were good, but could do better. Celebrate the accomplishment and STOP!

This is not to say we do not instruct and develop them. There are always learning times, and maybe even in these accomplishing times of their lives there will be teaching moments but WAIT to do these. If every time there is a “but” after the applause, it will never be enough. Make it enough by celebrating what they have done. Find the appropriate times to correct, teach, and instruct, “but” all of us need that applause and job well done deposits in our memory banks.

Check back in next Tuesday for Part 3.

~Jim and Jerolyn Bogear