Five Reasons the World Needs Dads

Jun 11, 2014 by Jim and Jerolyn Bogear

 

This is a guest blog by our friend, David Drury. David is the author of half a dozen books including Being Dad. See more at www.BeingDadBook.com and visit his website at www.DavidDrury.com.

And Dads, have a very Happy Father’s Day!!

Dads like the job. Why not? Having kids is our chance to be a kid again, while also giving the kids a chance to have the time of their lives growing up. Being dad means coming to the rescue; it means providing for the future of people who depend on you; it means being part-hero and part-playmate. Most of all, we like the job because we like being needed.

We need dads. Perhaps now more than ever. But we need dads for deeper reasons than flat tires and Legos.

1) We need dads because they can be so good at just being present.

I needed my dad to be present when I cried for no reason at the age of one, when I got that trivial award for no real reason at eleven, and when I graduated from college with little reason at twenty-one.

Being present, Jim and Jerolyn Bogear say, is the “most important characteristic that all of us can model in parenting. Just being present in the lives of our children speaks volumes.” Just showing up is half the parenting battle it seems. So much is said about just being there. And dads can be so good at just being present when it counts whether we are one or twenty-one.

2) We need dads because they can be so good at showing extra effort.

I needed my dad’s effort at two when I needed to learn patience, at twelve when I needed to learn respect, and at twenty-two when I needed to learn humility.

A dad doesn’t always need to say or do the right thing to make an impact. Often just a little effort to start the conversation is all that’s needed. Children can read a dad’s effort long before they can read words. So making that extra effort means the world to a kid, whether they are two or twenty-two.

3) We need dads because they can be so good at being intentional.

I needed my dad’s intentionality at three while missing him on a long work trip. I needed his intentionality at thirteen when I needed to understand why my body was changing, and at twenty-three when I needed to learn to be an intentional husband and father myself.

Intentionality is the dominant measure of successful fatherhood, and apathy is the reason for every father who fails at it. A dad that is intentional at the right time can work wonders in his children. Dads don’t need perfect words, or even perfect actions. They just need good timing. And the dad that responds to his kid at the right time with intentionally is well on the way to being a dad on purpose.

4) We need dads because they can be such good advisors.

I needed my dad to advise me on bike-riding at four, money management at fourteen, and career choices at twenty-four.

Dads love to give advice, but they worry that much of what they say “goes in one ear and out the other.” Let me tell you: a few of those key words don’t fall out of their heads. At those key moments of life those few words can dig deep into the soil of a child’s heart and grow something beautiful.

5) We need dads because they can be such good wrestlers.

I needed my dad to wrestle with me on the carpet at five, wrestle through my heartaches at fifteen, and then wrestle through my life decisions at twenty-five.

Dads are good at all these kinds of wrestling (and it’s a good thing for our backs that as we age, we don’t have to get down on the carpet to do it anymore.)

We need fathers for dozens of reasons, but these are just a few. It’s encouraging to know that when it comes to being dad, it’s not about your skills, education, or upbringing. It’s about being a dad on purpose!

What other reasons do you think we need dads?

 

 

 

 

 

   David Drury