Mother’s Day Reflections on Raising Future Adults

May 12, 2014 by Jim and Jerolyn Bogear

 

I was thinking back through yesterday, Mother’s Day, and am feeling so blessed. My husband and kids spoiled me and made me feel like a queen. They cooked for me, gave me gifts, and said and wrote beautiful words of affirmation and appreciation. But the more I reflect, I believe much of that comes from who they are and how we raised them.

Here is how they spent the day:

1. They started the day at church. We are so thankful that all three of our children and 2 spouses love the Lord their God with all their heart, soul, mind and strength. Believe me, we don’t take that for granted as we know of so many people whose children have rebelled or are still on a journey of discovery.  And we grieve and pray with those parents. But for whatever reason, our children have taken ownership of their relationship with God. And they began Mother’s Day as any other Sabbath, worshiping our Lord.

2. They cooked a meal for me. They know how much I really don’t like to cook. I can do it and don’t want my family to starve, but that is just not a love of mine. I love it when my kids cook for me. My love language is service, and when they serve me that way, I feel so tremendously loved. As an added bonus, their food was wonderful! But they did more than cook me a meal. They demonstrated a knowledge of who I am. They had taken the time to understand me and how they could please me on my special day. And then they went to the time and expense of making that happen. That is really showing genuine love – to take the time to know someone and speak in their love language.

3. They gave me gifts. One of our values we raised the kids with is to be generous. They were very generous this Mother’s Day. Not just by giving me gifts, but with their time in planning the meal and cooking for me and spending their own money for some of the food. Their generous hearts made the day extra special.

4. They value family. After dinner, they asked if I wanted to play a game. We spent the rest of the evening strategizing, battling, and laughing over a game of Ticket to Ride. (Well, only a little laughing because this family is intensely competitive. Lots of game faces.) We did nothing splashy or expensive, but simply spent time together as a family – enjoying each other’s presence.  That was perfect.

I share these things not to brag on my kids or to make anyone feel bad about their Mother’s Day experience. I share as a vision of hope.

You see, all these events stemmed from principles we taught the kids when they were little – devotion to God, showing love, generosity, and valuing family. It’s not something they just suddenly started doing. It’s just that now as adults, they have established these values for their own lives to carry forward.

The hope is for the young mom who is in the throes of child rearing – exhausted, frazzled, and trying her best to keep all the plates spinning. All your hard work is worth it. You are raising future adults.

It’s for the mom of a teenager who is stretching their wings and maybe rebelling against her. Continue to love them and stand strong in the values – you are not done parenting, and they are not done growing up.

It’s for the mom of an adult who has poorly chosen their life path. Never give up on them. There is still hope that they will return to the values you poured into them.

We, as moms, are not perfect, and we are raising imperfect children. But we must continue to hope and believe that instilling values into our children’s lives and lavishing on them unconditional love will direct them onto the right path. They must decide for themselves what road they are going to take. And then we can rejoice and be thankful when they choose to follow the right path.

What values are you training your children to live out now and as adults?

~Jerolyn