The Top Three Attributes Needed to Build a Relationship

May 5, 2014 by Jim and Jerolyn Bogear

 

We exist in many kinds of relationships every day – family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, acquaintances…. And as human beings, some of those relationships are simple and others are very complex. But to deepen any relationship, you must have certain elements that you are constantly aware of and are working to improve. While the process is stretching, self-revealing, and sometimes painful, the results are worth it. In the end, you are surrounded by a community of people who care about you and want to see you succeed in life. And the bonus, you get to be that person for them as well.

3 Attributes:

Commitment

To have a relationship with another person requires a commitment to them that goes beyond the next get-together or event in your life.  It involves a stick-to-it-tiveness that pushes through rough patches and stays close through difficult times. You can’t simply run when the going is difficult or the other person is in a “needy” stage of their life. The steadfastness of a commitment establishes the longevity of the relationship. Some say commitments are unnecessary. If one relationship/friendship fails, simply go get another one. And to a degree, they are not completely wrong. There are many people in the world we can form a relationship with. However, there is always a price to a broken relationship. And the benefits of long-term relationships far out-weigh the limitations.

Trust

For a relationship to last, a deep measure of trust must exist between the two people. Trust is built through repeated actions and words of affirmation and devotion. Knowing another person has your back no matter what and daily living in the knowledge that they will be utterly and completely honest with you is where you gain strength from relationships. You see the pure goodness that people can possess. Truth and sincerity create a foundation to a relationship. We each need to know that the person we have a relationship with is truly who they say they are every minute of the day. And if that trust is broken, at least a part if not the entire relationship will crumble away. A broken trust is probably the hardest disconnect in a relationship to repair.

Selflessness

Probably the number one killer of a relationship is selfishness — living your life always looking out for number one and making everyone else flounder along alone. There is nothing alive on this earth that totally makes it on its own. Every living thing needs something or someone to help them through. But if we are all just pulling for our own interests and desires, we not only use our resources selfishly, but become very lonely. The give and take of every one of our relationships adds to the richness of the bond. But it all begins with looking out for others and seeing that we help them reach their potential before we worry about our own interests. Helping another succeed is one of the most rewarding adventures you can undertake. And a nice side effect is you end up succeeding as well – as a true friend.

Which of these attributes of a relationship do you need to improve?

~ Jerolyn