Marriage Value: Love God & One Another, Part 2

Nov 6, 2013 by Jim and Jerolyn Bogear

On Tuesday, November 5th, we began this blog. Here is the rest of the story.

So how will this help my marriage?

Think about the number of problems that arise in every marriage. It is the foundation of every argument, every hurt feeling, and every divorce.

Selfishness.

Every action we take the causes a block in our relationship with our spouse is centered in selfishness. Now maybe only one spouse is being selfish at a time. For example, she gets angry at him over watching too much football. It’s either because she is selfish over demanding everything to center on her, OR he is selfishly ignoring her to satisfy his own desires. Another example is finances – one spouse thinks the money should be spent on the bills and debt reduction while the other wants to blow it on luxuries and entertainment.

These are just a couple of examples of selfishness in marriage when many examples can occur every single day.

So how do we improve our marriage?

Focus on your relationship with God. If I am living a holy, selfless life that is pleasing to God, I am going to live out a life that is more “other-focused” rather than “me-focused.” It is His love within me that will help me to fight against the selfish temptations of the enemy if I’m paying attention. On my own, I will choose self too many times.

How do we remain focused on God? First through the discipline of simple habits.

Reading His Word daily. Whether you meditate on one verse or several chapters, His Word is our main link to who He is. If we neglect reading the Word, we are refusing one of the avenues to hear His voice. It’s like having a marriage where only one person does all the talking.

Prayer – talking and listening – focused and throughout the day. Many people tell me, “Well, I just pray continuously as I go through my day.” And that is wonderful. The Bible says to pray without ceasing. But when do you listen? It’s difficult to listen to God when we are busy tending to the demands of our life. The Father deserves our focused attention, as well. Taking time to sit quietly before the throne will give us answers to our many questions and create time and space for truly deepening our relationship with the Lord.

Worship – private and corporate: Gathering together with a like-minded group of people to worship, discuss The Word, an challenge each other to a deeper walk and service will strengthen your relationship with the Father. But for effective worship to occur in a group, you must begin by having personal worship. You don’t just eat one meal a week; you’d starve. So also we can’t just meet once a week to be fed from the Word and walk away ignoring worship the rest of the week. Spend time with the Lord – sing, dance, sit in silence and solitude. Worship

Service – Finally, seek ways to serve the Lord — in a local church body and outside of it. God has blessed you with gives and talents. It’s your job to figure out what those are and then incorporate them into your daily life of serving others. The Lord said that we have served Him when we serve His people. Find ways in every encounter to be a servant for the Lord.

All of these are ways to deepen your love relationship with the Father. They also strengthen your love relationship with your spouse. When you get your life in line with the Lord, you are a better companion and mate to your spouse. You may not be completely selfless, but as you remain closer to the Lord, you certainly are less selfish.

As you grow in the habits personally, learn to incorporate them into your marriage relationship. You can read the Word, pray, worship and serve together. A beautiful connection happens between a husband and wife when they share in their relationship with the Lord.

• How are your personal spiritual habits? Are you growing more and more in love with the Lord every day?
• In what ways are you sharing in the habits with your spouse? How can you do better?
• How can you serve with your spouse or even practice by serving your spouse?

~Jim and Jerolyn