Adam and Eve: God’s Plan, Part 6

Jul 29, 2013 by Jim and Jerolyn Bogear

“Learn to love well to be well loved.”

Over the last couple of weeks we have been discussing marriage from the view of the lives of Adam and Eve. We began with God’s Plan for marriage through being partners and living in covenant. Then we looked at what Adam and Eve learned from their mistakes in how to be selfless and to take responsibility. Finally, Jim showed us two strategies for returning to God’s original plan for marriage. Today, I will discuss two more strategies for improving our marriages and living out God’s design.

Strategy #3: Dialogue:

Having Dialogue or simply put, talking to each other, is a critical strategy for keeping in line with God’s design for our marriages. We must have open, honest communication to be sure we are on the same page.

With all of today’s technology, we can get caught in the trap of simply texting or emailing our spouse instead of sitting down and talking face-to-face. Now, we are not saying technology is bad, but somewhere along the line we have lost the beautiful art of having a dialogue – two people, looking into each other’s eyes, watching their body language, using complete sentences with words more than 5 letters each.

Now you have to have conversations about the mundane parts of life – schedules, home repairs, what’s for dinner, etc. But true dialogue that enriches your marriage involves sharing your dreams, fears, hopes and desires.

Too often we opt for a movie or a ball game because they are easy ways to spend time together. But true heart-sharing happens in an honest discussion – preferably over a good meal.

I hear from many people, mostly women, who they are afraid to share their thoughts with their spouse. This just makes me sad. Conversation between a husband and a wife should be a safe place. That means we need to not only be willing to share openly with our spouse, but also to be non-judgmental, supportive listeners.

Remember, as we’ve said before, we are a team pulling on the same side of the rope. Share what is in your heart and listen intently with an open heart.

Strategy #4: Delight:

Expressing delight in one another is another strategy to having a full and complete marriage like God designed it to be. Sex and intimacy in marriage is very private and should remain so. But let us say here – it needs to be happening. God gave us a beautiful gift as a married couple to share physical intimacy with one another. It is literally a joining of not just our hearts, but our very bodies. By the way, that’s Scriptural – “The two shall become as one.”

We can experience a closeness and unity in sex as in no other way in our marriage. While sex is a physical desire and even a need, making our times of intimacy a priority is vital in staying connected as husband and wife.

Now here is a great topic for a dialogue – share your sexual wants and desires with your spouse. What do you like? What don’t you like? How can I bring more pleasure to you? This kind of conversation can bring about an even greater intimacy as we work to meet our spouse’s needs and wants.

But Delight isn’t just about sex – it involves simply enjoying one another, as well. We can delight in just spending time together, laughing together, playing games, taking walks, putting on some music and doing chores around the house, or just sitting on the back patio snuggling and holding hands.

God gave you this very special person He created to share your life with. Enjoy every moment of it. Celebrate the good and the bad because you have someone to go through it with you. Delight in the partner God has blessed you with and have some fun together. That joy will bring you into an unbreakable intimacy.

Questions:

• When was the last really heart-felt conversation you had with your spouse?
• How can you be more intentional about your times of intimacy and meeting your spouse’s needs?

On Thursday, Jim will wrap up our series on Adam and Eve. You can watch the entire sermon here. Simply scroll down to Adam and Eve.

~Jerolyn