Adam and Eve: God’s Plan, Part 3

Jul 17, 2013 by Jim and Jerolyn Bogear

 “Learn to love well to be well loved.”

We began our Adam and Eve Series: God’s Plan with Part 1 (Partners) and Part 2 ( Covenant).

As we continue the discussion of marriage through the lens of Adam and Eve, we are reminded that greed leads to selfish acts. Through their challenges and wrong acts, Adam and Eve teach us is to learn Selflessness over Selfishness.

“When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.” Genesis 3:6

Interesting, isn’t it, that they both decided it was better to disobey God and gain something on their own? They had it all, but chose to forfeit it by being greedy. We can have more, they thought. God is denying us something, and if He has it, why shouldn’t we get some. Satan fills us with lies and when we become selfish, it only causes harm, deceit, and brokenness.

We see Adam and Eve both wanting something selfishly. How often when we think only of our needs and ourselves do we negate the reality of what God designed and desires?

Notice that scripture says Adam was with Eve. We often get the concept that Eve and Satan are off somewhere having this discussion, and then Adam shows up after she eats the fruit. But it says he was with her and did nothing to stop her. He did not take leadership or help her to stop. He was there and selfishly joined with her by being there and doing nothing to stop her, and then joining her by eating.

Men, step up, take leadership and responsibility. We are expected and commanded to lead well — even in our homes. This does not excuse Eve, but it also does not excuse Adam.

Women, be responsible for your actions. We will talk about the blame game in the next blog, but the selfishness of both Adam and Eve shows the problems that come when we act in that manner. We want it “my” way and when we do, we only look out for ourselves. Both showed us that greed leads to selfish acts, and selfishness leads to brokenness in the relationship.

Often we think of greed in material possessions including wealth and money. But how often do we get “greedy” in relationships? How do we respond to others when we want only our needs met and not concerned with the other person in the relationship?

Don’t get us wrong, it isn’t easy, and the battle of “self” is often the biggest struggle. “Above all the grace and the gifts that Christ gives to his beloved is that of overcoming self.” St. Francis of Assisi

Louie Giglio says it this way,

“But to mean it when I say that I want my life to count for His glory is to drive a stake through the heart of self – a painful and determined dying to me that must be a part of every day I live.”

Scripture says to “deny ourselves and daily pick up our responsibilities (cross).” Luke 9:23 paraphrased.

When we can overcome selfishness with selflessness we both win. In our marriage we care more for each other and work to help the marriage win rather than selfishly fighting only for me and my rights and needs and wants. Like we have said, “Pull on the same side of the rope.” Help your spouse win and you win…the relationship wins!

Adam and Eve might well say to us, “Trust God, and put each other first.” Love well before expecting to be well loved. We must practice selflessness in our marriages to honestly gain a better understanding of loving well. Selflessness leads to loving well, which leads to being well loved.

It isn’t easy, but it is best!!

• In what ways can you begin to act less selfishly, support your spouse, and honor one another?
• What needs of your spouse can you begin to meet?

You can watch the entire Adam and Eve sermon here. On Tuesday, Part 4, Responsibility.

~Jim and Jerolyn