Experimental Parenting?

Jun 11, 2013 by Jim and Jerolyn Bogear

The other day actor Will Smith was on Good Morning America. He made this statement, “Parenting is hit or miss and experimental.” With no disrespect to Will Smith, I have to disagree. Parenting can be done with purpose and a plan.

Now granted, each of our children must be treated as individuals. And since they are individuals, they have very different personalities that need to be dealt with appropriately. For example, if one child is pretty thick-skinned and the other is very sensitive, you may discipline them differently. The sensitive one may just need a stern look to keep them in line while the other may need a stern whoopin’.  But these are just discipline differences that can easily be adapted to each child. And it may take some trial and error to figure out what works best for each one.

But the basic principles of parenting all your children can be planned out for your household. When you establish a specific set of values for your family, you are creating a foundation that every parenting decision stems from.

For example, if you have the value of Integrity, what does that mean? It means you live out honesty, loyalty, hard-work. All of these traits encompass Integrity. So, if you have a child who is wanting to quit the soccer team mid-season because they are bored and tired of playing, then you already know what answer to give them. Since you are training them loyalty and hard-work, they will finish out the season’s commitment to their team. Then a discussion can happen regarding the next season.  You see, while there may sometimes be extenuating circumstances that need to be taken into consideration, the basic plan is already laid out.

These family values are biblically-based and reflect the adult that you are raising your child to become. When they leave your home, these are the values that will help them to become productive, healthy adults that can make a difference in their world. If you, as parents, will sit down and prayerfully create a list of values that your family will live by, you have the “plan” laid out for your parenting. Everyone in the family knows what is expected by the values established. That is not hit or miss parenting – that is living purposefully and productively.

What values will be the foundation for your family?

~Jerolyn